Ha! I am still alive!

Been busy doing..stuff. Like becoming a fat housewife (read: no longer appear as anorexic, housewife only applicable insofar as I'm in a house mostly) and fattening Josh up so I can one day cook him as well. It's at the point where I'm working through the cookbook, and doing a recipe a day. It's really suprisingly awesome, some things I wouldn't have dreamt doing (Cider Vinegar + Cheddar Cheese + Oregano + Broccoli = delicious), and because I have to eat dairy again I can use the veggie Jewish cookbook which I got ages ago (Jews put egg and dairy in anything which doesn't have meat, it feels like).

What else. Haven't started writing yet (promised myself I would). And I'm at 8 years without a new publication, which lets face it, is embarassing and if I saw my mentors they'd be furious. Starting to feel like one of those dicks that never produces anything new (or consistently produces the same dull stuff), but runs around telling people they're an artist/writer/photographer/etc. So I have to go back over my last 2 years of work and actually edit it, because it's mostly still in raw form, see if any of my old contacts are even still alive and kicking, and do something about my writing or relegate it to a hobby, because it's been too long.

Uni is good, and I'll finish my degree before I have the baby, which is awesome. Some of my classes will get uncomfortable (for everyone else) because it's philosophy/religion/politics and arguments often begin with "would you be happy raising your child in ... circumstances?". Also, I wanted one of my essays to be on abortion, but I'd have to present my work when visibly pregnant, and it's just not a great idea, because that's probably the only class I have in which we genuinely try not to hurt each other's feelings.

This time next year I'm going to be doing postgrad at Vic, or will have moved from Welly. Either Martinborough or (gulp) Hawkes Bay to do viticulture and learn the other side of Wine. Ideally I want to be in France learning viticulture (as well as getting a better grasp of French) but I'm not sure how happy everyone else will be with this decision, so I've pulled it back a bit. Its been in the plans for a while so noone can really say they didn't see it coming.

What else? Quit my job, if that isn't obvious. Had a hell of a time doing it, because I was so sick (and homeless) for the last month and a half of it that I let things slip that I shouldn't have, and was mercilessly bullied for that entire time. HR wouldn't help because I was leaving- as far as they were concerned, they were stoked to give the powers that be a reason to fire said manager. Said manager is not yet fired, and i'm still spending an average of 30 minutes a day as counsellor/listening post/sounding board for everyone who's still there, trying to help the poor things out. The lady who replaced me is already causing hell, and I'm finding it hilarious. The rest..I just feel bad for them. I recently had to threaten legal action to get my severance pay, upon doing so I got it, but it's going through today/tomorrow, and may end up being considered current earnings by the Government, which means they'll cut off my benefit for 6 weeks, and I will be more than broke- I'll literally be physically unable to stay in Wellington, because the landlord has a court order saying that if we miss rent by more than 2 days, we will be locked out and put on the street that night. Ugh.

Oh, and in the past three months (which is getting to feel like an extremely long time) the only two romantic suitors who I've had have either turned out to be 1) over 40 years old, obsessive, and creepy; and 2) secretly dating a girl I know peripherally (that would have been fun, going to her birthday party on Saturday without knowing. Don't care particularly. Hopefully I can sit there and laugh as she tries to keep us out of the same room the entire night )

Is this all a good thing? Is this an improvement? Is this a step backwards? Its different, I guess.